Japan is known for its stunning landscapes, delicious food, and fascinating culture. But behind this image lies a more complex reality: social pressure . If you’ve ever heard of tatemae and honne , you know that in Japanese culture, there’s a big difference between what you show to others and what you really think. So why do Japanese people place so much importance on the group? And how does this social pressure influence their daily lives? Let’s decipher the intricacies (and small contradictions) of Japanese society together!
1. Tatemae and Honne: The Mask and the Truth
Let's start with the basics: in Japan, there is tatemae (建前) and honne (本音). Tatemae is what we show to others, the social facade, this mask that reflects the expectations of the group. Honne is what we really think, our personal feelings and opinions. Basically, tatemae is what you tell your boss when he asks you if you want to stay late at the office and honne is what you really think.
This concept is fundamental in Japan, as society values social harmony and consensus. It is therefore common to avoid direct confrontations or express disagreements in order to preserve peace. And while this may seem strange to foreigners, it is actually one of the keys to understanding how relationships work in Japan.
2. Peer pressure: When the “I” disappears behind the “we”
In Japan, the group often takes precedence over the individual. Whether at work, at school, or even in groups of friends, there is a strong pressure to conform to social norms and maintain harmony. This translates into codified behaviors, such as avoiding expressing strong opinions, not bragging about one's accomplishments, and always looking out for others.
For example, in a Japanese office , everyone usually stays until the superior leaves, even if the workday is officially over. Leaving before others would be seen as a lack of commitment to the team. This desire to conform is so strong that it is not uncommon for employees to stay late at work just to show that they are part of the group.
In everyday life, too, group pressure is felt. For example, the Japanese are very careful not to make noise on public transport, to queue properly, and to respect the space of others. Any deviation from social norms is perceived as an intrusion into collective harmony.
3. Fake smiles: When being polite becomes an art of living
If you visit Japan, you will quickly notice that Japanese people are very polite and smile, even in tense situations. This smile is not always a sign of happiness, but sometimes a "tatemae" to mask a feeling of embarrassment or annoyance. In an environment where direct confrontation is frowned upon, smiling becomes a sort of "default solution" to avoid conflict.
Imagine: you are in a restaurant, and your food is served cold. Rather than complaining openly, you might see a Japanese person smile politely and thank the waiter. Even if he is not happy, he prefers to preserve harmony rather than create a scene. This restraint may be surprising to foreigners, but it is perceived as a mark of respect towards others. Some tourists are easier than others, some would say!
4. Academic pressure: When excellence becomes a necessity
Social pressure in Japan begins in childhood, especially in the academic realm. Japanese children grow up with the idea that they must succeed in order to bring pride to their family and community. It's not just about personal performance; it's about social status. The idea of "not bringing shame" to one's family or school is pervasive.
Young Japanese people therefore spend long hours in classes, and then in "juku" (tutoring) after school. This pressure to succeed can be overwhelming, and many children and young adults feel a strong pressure to do well in school, get into a good university, and get a good job. Unfortunately, this can sometimes lead to stress, anxiety, and even cases of " hikikomori " (extreme social withdrawal).
5. The "nomikai" phenomenon: When alcohol becomes the only means of expressing oneself freely
Nomikai (drinking parties with colleagues) are an institution in Japan. Why? Because they allow people to free themselves from social pressure for a while. In an informal setting and under the influence of alcohol, Japanese people feel freer to reveal their honesty , talk about their frustrations, their opinions, and even joke with their superiors. These moments are precious to release pressure and share more authentic moments with their colleagues or friends.
Of course, everything that happens during a nomikai is supposed to stay "between drinks". The next day, at the office, we put on the mask of politeness and seriousness again, as if nothing had happened.
A pressure that unites, but which can weigh
Social pressure in Japan is both fascinating and sometimes disconcerting. While tatemae and honne help maintain group harmony, they also impose implicit rules that can be difficult to bear. For the Japanese, this pressure is an integral part of their culture, but it can also be a source of stress. Ultimately, Japanese society is a delicate balance between group expectations and individual desires, a balance that the Japanese navigate with skill… and sometimes, with a slightly forced smile.
