Welcome to the fascinating and sometimes confusing world of Japanese polite expressions! Whether you are "san", "kun", "chan" or "senpai", each suffix reveals a facet of your relationship with others.
Prepare to explore this linguistic jungle and, above all, how to avoid missteps to avoid seppuku.
Fasten your seat belts (or rather, adjust your obi), let's take a journey to the heart of Japanese politeness!
Why so many suffixes?
If you thought learning how to say "hello" and "thank you" in Japanese was enough, prepare for a culture shock. The Japanese don't joke about politeness. Here, each suffix – “san”, “kun”, “chan”, “senpai”, “sensei” and many others – has a precise meaning and reveals the nature of the relationship between the interlocutors.
Like the ninja, dodging shuriken after shuriken, one misstep, and you could come across as rude, condescending, or worse, completely off base. But don't worry, we are here to guide you and save you from disgrace.
Why so many suffixes, you ask? Well, in Japan, respect and social harmony are fundamental values. Honorific suffixes play a crucial role in maintaining these values, by clearly indicating the level of respect and intimacy between people. They are like social beacons that help navigate daily interactions.
You might wonder when to use "san" instead of "kun," or if you can call your teacher "sensei" without sounding like a bootlicker. And what about the mysterious “senpai” and “kohai”, or those adorable “chan” that we hear so often in anime? Each suffix has its own rules of use, sometimes subtle, sometimes obvious, but always essential to avoid making any missteps.
San: The essential of respect
Let's start with the most basic and most used: "san". If Japan were a video game, "san" would be easy mode. It is the equivalent of our "Sir" or "Madam", used to show respect to almost everyone. Whether it's your neighbor, your colleague or even your postman, "san" goes everywhere.
Let's imagine for a moment that you are in an anime. You are a transfer student at a new (mainstream!) school, and you are meeting your teacher for the first time. You don't know much about him except that he wears glasses and always seems to know what he's doing (a classic too). So you call him “Tanaka-san” to make sure you don’t make a mistake. Simple, effective, and above all, respectful.
"San" is also very practical in the business world. Whether you're talking to your boss, a client, or a colleague, this suffix shows that you respect the person, without going overboard. For example, "Yamada-san" could be your supervisor, "Suzuki-san" your client, and "Kobayashi-san" your colleague. Easy, right?
It's also common to use "san" with last names, but it can also be used with first names, especially in a context where you want to show politeness without being too formal. For example, calling your friend "Akiko-san" is entirely appropriate if you want to be respectful without being distant.
But be careful, don't get carried away by the ease of "san". If you use it in a context where another suffix would be more appropriate, you risk appearing ignorant or even disrespectful. For example, calling your teacher "Yamada-san" instead of "Yamada-sensei" could be seen as disrespecting their status and expertise.
Kun: The cool friend
Now let's move on to "kun". Used primarily for younger men or close friends, "kun" adds a touch of camaraderie and friendliness. Imagine you are in the office and talking to your younger colleague, Taro. You call him “Taro-kun” to show that you are in this together, ready to face the challenges of working together. It's a bit like saying "my friend" in a polite way.
But be careful, “kun” is not just for men. Although it is more common when addressing young men or boys, women may also use "kun" when speaking to male colleagues or close friends. It’s a sign of familiarity, but still respectful.
In schools, teachers often use "kun" to address boys, creating a relaxed but respectful atmosphere. For example, "Yamamoto-kun" could be a student in the class, and the use of "kun" shows both closeness and recognition of the student's effort.
And what about anime and manga? You'll often hear characters calling their friends "kun", especially when the friends are tender-hearted young men or heroes in the making. This adds a dimension of camaraderie and respect, while maintaining a certain social hierarchy.
For example, imagine you are at a sports club and you have a younger teammate, Takumi. You call him “Takumi-kun” to show that you are close and consider him a valuable member of the team. It's a bit like saying "brother" but with a Japanese touch of respect.
However, remember that "kun" can be perceived as condescending if used incorrectly. Calling someone your age or older "kun" may seem strange unless you have a very familiar relationship. Likewise, using "kun" to address an adult woman you don't know well can be frowned upon.
In short, “kun” is your ticket to friendly and respectful interaction, especially with younger children and close friends. Use it wisely, and you'll make friends for life (or at least until the end of the school year).
Chan: Kawaii suffix
Ah, “chan” . The ultimate cuteness suffix. Used for children, close friends, and sometimes even pets, "chan" stands for affection and gentleness. Imagine a little girl named Hana, you will call her "Hana-chan" to express your tenderness. This suffix is often used by parents when speaking to their children, or between close friends to add a touch of familiarity and warmth.
"Chan" is also commonly heard in anime and manga, where it is used for young and adorable characters. You've probably heard heroes call their little sister "Imouto-chan" or their girlfriend "Miko-chan." It’s a bit like adding a little heart to the end of each word – instantly cuter!
But be careful, using "chan" among adults can be a slippery slope. Calling your office colleague "Yuki-chan" might come across as condescending or inappropriate unless you have a very close relationship. Among very close friends or couples, however, "chan" can be a charming way of speaking to each other.
And don't underestimate the use of "chan" for pets. In Japan, it is quite common to hear names like "Pochi-chan" for a dog or "Tama-chan" for a cat. This shows the affection that owners have for their four-legged companions.
To illustrate, imagine that you have a childhood friend, Aiko. You've called her "Aiko-chan" since you were little, and that suffix has stuck, even into adulthood, because it represents your special bond. It's like having an affectionate nickname that lasts through the years.
However, "chan" is not universally accepted in all situations. For example, using it in a formal professional setting might be perceived as overly familiar and therefore inappropriate. Likewise, calling a superior “chan” could be seen as a lack of respect.
Sempai and Kohai: The dynamic duo
Now let's enter the fascinating world of "senpai" and "kohai" relationships, a dynamic duo that is at the heart of Japanese culture, particularly in schools and businesses.
Senpai: The Benevolent Elder
The term "senpai" (or "senpai") is used to refer to someone who is older than you or has more experience in a specific field. This could be an older student at school, a colleague with more seniority, or even a mentor in a sports club. The role of the senpai is to guide, encourage and help the “kohai” (cadets) navigate their journey.
Imagine that you are a new employee in a Japanese company. Your senpai takes you under their wing, shows you the ropes, and even invites you to izakaya (Japanese bars) after work to strengthen bonds. You call him “Tanaka-senpai” to show your respect and gratitude for his support.
Kohai: The respectful cadet
On the other hand, the "kohai" is the middle or junior in this relationship. As a kohai, you show respect to your senpai, you learn from them, and you follow their advice. This does not mean that you are inferior, but rather that you recognize their experience and wisdom.
For example, if you're a first-year student at a kendo club, you probably have several senpai teaching you the techniques and rules of the sport. You respect them, listen to them attentively, and address them with honorific suffixes to show your deference.
A mutually beneficial relationship
The beauty of the senpai-kohai system lies in its reciprocity. The senpai offers support and guidance, while the kohai shows respect and gratitude. This relationship creates an environment of mutual support and collaboration, where everyone learns and grows.
Sensei: The revered master
The term "sensei" is reserved for teachers, doctors, martial artists, and anyone with special expertise worthy of respect. Whether you are learning karate from Mr. Miyagi or Ninjustsu from Kakashi sensei, "sensei" is the suffix that shows your respect for their knowledge and skill.
Sensei at school
In Japanese schools, students call their teachers “sensei,” followed by the family name. For example, "Tanaka-sensei" would be your math teacher who never fails to sputter in the front row. This term is not only reserved for teachers of academic subjects, but also for club instructors and counselors. If your calligraphy teacher is a recognized expert, he or she will also be honored with the title of "sensei."
Sensei in martial arts
In the dojo, “sensei” is a sacred title. Imagine that you are a kendo student, wielding the shinai with determination. Your master, "Yamada-sensei", teaches you not only combat techniques, but also the values of discipline, respect and perseverance. Here, "sensei" is much more than a simple teacher, he is a spiritual and moral guide.
Sensei in the medical field
Physicians are also called "sensei" in Japan, reflecting the deep respect for their expertise and role in society. Whether it's your general practitioner or a renowned specialist, "sensei" is used to express trust and deference to those who hold the key to your health.
Do not confuse with other titles
It is crucial not to confuse "sensei" with other honorifics. Using “san” instead of “sensei” for a teacher or doctor could be seen as disrespectful. Likewise, calling your baker "sensei" because he makes perfect baguettes, while flattering, would be a bit of a stretch.
Dono and Sama: The medieval version
To add a touch of extreme respect worthy of medieval times, we have "dono" and "sama" . Used rarely today, these suffixes show enormous respect, often for people of very high rank or for someone you hold in very high regard.
Sama: The ultimate respect
The suffix "sama" is one of the most honorific forms of respect you can use in Japanese. You'll hear it in very formal settings or for people of exceptionally high status. For example, customers in a store or restaurant might be addressed as “okyakusama,” meaning “dear customer.”
"Sama" is also used for deities. At the shrine, prayers can be made to "Amaterasu-omikami-sama", the sun goddess in Shinto mythology. It's a bit like saying "your majesty" or "your holiness" in English.
Dono: Noble respect
The suffix "dono" (or "tono") is less commonly used today but it evokes a period when samurai ruled and respect for honor was essential. “Dono” falls between “san” and “sama” in terms of respect, often translated as “lord” or “master”. Imagine yourself in a Japanese historical drama, where the servants address their lord as “Takeda-dono” – instantly, the atmosphere becomes more solemn and noble.
In samurai stories, "dono" is used to show immense respect to feudal lords and high-ranking warriors. You may hear a character say "Kenshin-dono" when addressing a general or master samurai.
Modern usage and nuances
Today, the use of "dono" is rare and mainly reserved for very specific or literary contexts. For example, in traditional martial arts, a student might address a grandmaster as "Miyamoto-dono" to show exceptional respect. In formal letters, "dono" could be used to add an extra touch of respect, although this is rather archaic.
Missteps to avoid
Using "sama" or "dono" inappropriately can seem excessive or even sarcastic. For example, calling your close friend "Taro-sama" might make him laugh, but it will sound strange and exaggerated. Likewise, using "dono" in a modern context may seem out of place, unless you're in a pageant setting or discussing traditional martial arts.
Practical cases and missteps to avoid
Navigating the jungle of Japanese honorific suffixes can be as tricky as crossing a minefield. A small mistake can lead to misunderstandings or embarrassing situations. To avoid this, here are some practical cases and missteps to avoid so you can use these suffixes with confidence and precision.
Practical cases
In the office
- You work at a Japanese company and need to send an email to your manager, Mr. Suzuki. Use "Suzuki-san" in your email to show appropriate respect. For example: “Suzuki-san, could you check this document, please?
At school
- You are a newly arrived student and you meet your math teacher, Ms. Takahashi. Use "Takahashi-sensei" to show your respect for her status as a teacher: "Takahashi-sensei, I have a question about the assignment."
Between friends
- You've been friends with Taro since high school. You call him “Taro-kun” to show your camaraderie and closeness. However, if Taro has a cute little sister, you might call her "Miko-chan" to express affection.
In a sports club
- You are a member of a judo club and your elder, Mr. Nakamura, teaches you a new technique. Use "Nakamura-senpai" to show your respect: "Nakamura-senpai, thank you for your help."
Missteps to avoid
Use "san" instead of "sensei"
- Calling your teacher "Takahashi-san" instead of "Takahashi-sensei" may seem disrespectful and diminish their status. Always use "sensei" for teachers and authority figures.
Using "kun" for someone older or of higher status
- Calling your boss "Yamada-kun" would be a major faux pas. “Kun” is reserved for young men or close friends, never for superiors.
Using "chan" inappropriately
- Calling an office colleague "Yuki-chan" without having a very close relationship may be perceived as condescending or inappropriate. Reserve “chan” for very close friends or children.
Using "sama" sarcastically
- Calling your friend "Taro-sama" jokingly may seem funny, but it can also be interpreted as sarcastic and inappropriate. “Sama” is reserved for very formal contexts or to show extreme respect.
Practical advice
- Observe and imitate: Watch how Japanese people around you use these suffixes and imitate their behavior. This is one of the best ways to learn and avoid mistakes.
- Ask for advice: If you're not sure which suffix to use, don't hesitate to ask a Japanese friend or trusted colleague.
- Stay humble and polite: Even if you make a mistake, showing that you are doing your best to respect Japanese culture will always be appreciated.
